I’ll Be Happy When..

Posted on November 10, 2007 in Motivation by byronb

I’ll Be Happy When…

Basing your happiness on a future event deprives you of experiencing happiness now. Wanting that new job or promotion, car, outfit, house, vacation, boyfriend or girlfriend is fine; but hinging your happiness on its arrival is not.

Waiting for happiness to arrive on the heels of something else only produces more waiting, for we all know that as soon as we get something we want, we’re already well on our way to wanting something else we don’t have.

Happiness depends very little on your life circumstances and situations; social status, wealth, good looks, material possessions, even health are too tenuous and fleeting to base your happiness on. All that brings is gratification, not happiness. Gratification is temporary: a condition. Happiness endures, because it is a state of being.

A real and lasting happiness comes from what you do with the life circumstances and situations you have, and with the thoughts and feelings you have about your life. A real and lasting happiness might better be termed, “inner peace”. Call it what you will, it is attainable in any and every moment because its existence depends on nothing other than you.

A contented, inwardly peaceful kind of happiness that underlies every moment like fair weather comes from an abiding sense of self-worth and appreciation for oneself and others, one’s surroundings, and all of life. When you value your worth and appreciate others and the world around you, other people, the world around you - always a mirror of your inner state - your whole life reflects back on you all the justification you ever wanted for being happy.

That’s right: for although true happiness within does not depend on the evidence around you, when true happiness from within provides the backdrop for your life, your life gives you all the supporting evidence, all the reasons to be happy, that you could ever want or need.

Stress - a chronic state of crisis and emergency - makes it difficult to access this inner wellspring of joy that is our natural state. When we feel tense, we contract rather than open. When our hearts race, we tend to get anxious and upset, not calm and relaxed. When we feel victim to our basest instincts we feel out of control and therefore judge, resent, and berate ourselves. Stress is anathema to happiness; it is the disease. Openness, relaxation, and love and appreciation for life, the world we live in, and ourselves - is the cure.

Hand-in-hand with self-love and appreciation is acceptance. In order to love yourself, you must accept yourself as you are, forgive yourself for who you’ve been, and decide you want to be as you step into the future. To appreciate others you must accept them as they are, and to appreciate your life and the world around you in all its circumstances and situations, you must first accept them as they are. Conveniently, this acceptance is also the first step to transform what has been into what you want it to be.

Make it your objective, then, not to attack life like a big To-Do List that must be checked off item by item, but to approach everything you do with the fullness of your being, appreciating the nuances of the moment and enjoying the company of the person you love most - You. Then everything you do because a joyous act. Like transforms from a series of mindless, mundane, and meaningless chores to a dance of immeasurably pleasurable and beautiful profundity.