Self-Esteem

Posted on November 30, 2007 in Motivation by byronb

Esteem (as defined in Webster’s Dictionary) means to value highly or have great regard for.

Self-esteem then is valuing oneself, having high regard for your own worth and merit as an individual. High or low, your self-esteem affects every aspect of your life: productivity at work, relationships with family and friends, and your inner mental and emotional state.

Self-esteem issues are often rooted in early childhood family interactions. Identifying the source of your self-esteem issues can play a key role in eliminating them. Running away from these pivotal experiences in your past rather than facing them head-on, fears and all, ultimately perpetuates the damage they inflicted on you.

No matter what influences come from outside you, your biggest and harshest critic is yourself, showing up as that little voice in your mind that judges all you ever think or do. One of the greatest strides a person can take in developing good self-esteem is to silence that voice every time it tries to speak up. Dis-identify from that voice - in other words: recognize that it is not you; you are not that voice. That should make it a whole lot easier to tell it to SHUT UP every time it makes a peep.

Many people cling to their low self esteem because they think they deserve it; they think they’re selfish, ugly, unlovable, and worthless. Ironically, the low self-esteem itself is actually what’s selfish, ugly, unlovable and worthless. Get rid of that biggest bully of all, your own insidious self-judgment, and get on with being the source of love and fulfillment that you really are.

An attitude of victimhood and unworthiness only attracts more experiences justifying those beliefs. Break the binding chain of low self-esteem. Decide to love yourself, first and foremost, and then you’ll find yourself, at long last, loving life as well.

That’s the inward trick to self-esteem. The outward trick is this: Project confidence - whether you feel it or not. Bullies have been doing it for time immemorial; why not a loving, caring person like you? It’s the old ‘fake it ’til you make it’ tactic, and it works. You attract to yourself more of what you project, so when you project confidence, that’s just what you get. That’s why positive affirmations work so well - because they provide a new and more positive point of focus for our all-powerful creative attention.

Typically, men have a tendency to base their self-esteem on their achievements while women tend to base their self-esteem on their physical appearance and how lovable or not they perceive themselves to be. Any of these criteria for self-confidence are false and, what’s worse, harmful to a person’s full development.

Take your attention off your faults long enough to start cultivating an enthusiasm for life and your life starts reflecting that appreciativeness back at you. Spend your time and energy appreciating life and you don’t have the time and energy to spend finding fault with yourself. Value the people, circumstances, and qualities of your life, and conversely you give value to you.

Dress the way you like: the way you think you look best. Smile. Stand up tall. Act like you love yourself and, in time, you will. And as a bonus gift, act like you love yourself and the world around you will love you too.